Sakai Michiba (sakaim) wrote in yaoi_collection,
Sakai Michiba
sakaim
yaoi_collection

Ambivalent Lucidity Rewrite

Title: Ambivalent Lucidity
Rating: Currently R
Pairings: Harry/Draco
Summary: When Draco Malfoy's mental health mysteriously declines, he is placed under the care of the only person he responds to: Harry Potter.
Warnings: (Future) Violence, rape, character death, mental illnesses, slash, Pre-HBP


Harry and Draco did not have the chance to talk when Draco woke from his nap–Draco woke while Harry was carrying him to the Hospital Wing. “Wh-what?” Draco managed, tucking his head into Harry’s shoulder as a wave of heat passed over him. “Oh, God...” His voice was small and weak, and he choked a little before he grabbed onto Harry’s shoulder and whimpered until he was hurried into the sterile room and placed on one of the beds.

“Madam Pomfrey?!” Harry called, and Draco noted blearily that there was blood on Harry’s shirt. He lifted a pale hand to his mouth and drew it back to find his skin stained crimson, and he felt his eyes roll back in his head before he fainted dead away onto the pillow. “Oh, please,” Harry mumbled before he was met with the mediwitch, and he gestured to Draco’s unconscious form. “He started coughing up blood in his sleep. He’s got a really high fever, I think, and he was throwing up all morning...” The worry returned to his stomach, and he hurried to sit down on Draco’s bedside, lightheaded.

Pomfrey gave a nod and began to work on Draco, performing spells and opening his mouth to look down his throat. “How is his recovery going, Harry? I must confess myself disappointed that you did not come immediately to me for information on his affliction, but there was nothing I could do about it, I suppose...” She muttered the Lumos spell and peered down Draco’s throat with it. “You said he was vomiting? His throat is very irritated from whatever he threw up, so the blood is just a response to that.” She smiled and waved a healing spell over him, and Draco shifted in his sleep. “There, no more blood.”

As Harry watched her bustle over to the various potions she kept on a shelf, he felt himself blush a little at her earlier statement. “I don’t think he’s recovering at all, but Dumbledore seems to think otherwise. I mean, at least he’s Draco sometimes, and not just...someone else. He’s been Draco a lot lately,” he said, and Pomfrey did not miss the hint of a smile on his lips that he tried to hide. She grabbed the Pepper-Up Potion and a fever reducer before heading back to Draco’s bed.

“Enervate!” she exclaimed, her wand pointed at Draco, and his eyes opened slowly to look at her. “Welcome back, Mister Malfoy. I’ll need you to drink this potion first...” She placed the fever reducer in his hands and smiled as he downed it with a horrible face. “Terrible, isn’t it? Now this one.” She sounded almost taunting as she handed him the Pepper-Up, and he did not even look at it before drinking it, so when steam began pouring out of his ears, he turned a nasty colour of red and clamped his hands over his ears. “There we are, Draco. You’ll be up to snuff in no time.”

Harry could not keep back a small fit of laughter at the sight of haughty Draco Malfoy with steam gushing from his head, and Draco shot him a nasty look before deciding that he was too weak to argue, and he moved to lean against Harry’s shoulder and close his eyes. Harry blushed and trained his gaze away from the nurse while his hands rose up to hold Draco lightly, palms stroking down his back. “Well, Harry,” she said, a hint of amusement in her voice, “it appears to me that he is indeed recovering. Just because none of the personalities have disappeared doesn’t mean that he doesn’t feel a lot better. Next time it’s not Draco, why don’t you ask one of the other personas how to make Draco feel better? Surely one will tell you.” She reached out to touch Harry’s shoulder, not missing it when Draco’s hand slipped into one of Harry’s, and he looked thoughtful for a moment before pulling her hand back.

Harry nodded slightly and moved to stand up. “I’ll do that,” he said quietly, and he carefully pulled the steaming Draco into his arms to carry him like a child. “Thanks for fixing him, Madam Pomfrey.” He was slightly embarrassed at the way she looked at them when they held hands, and he wanted to get out as fast as possible. When her hand stopped him, however, he looked strangely at her, and even moreso as she held up a finger. “...Yes?”

“There is a portrait of Petronius in Gryffindor Tower, Mr. Potter, that is protected by the password ‘casurus.’ Approach it and speak the password, and you will find private quarters for the two of you so your dorm-mates don’t get so miffed. You can move your things in as soon as you like...” She smiled lightly at the look of pure ecstasy on Harry’s face and watched him nod and leave with Draco in his arms.

After having tucked Draco back into bed, Harry approached the portrait, which was in the common room, and whispered the password so no one else would hear. To his delight, the picture swung open and revealed a room much like the dormitory they had stayed it: coloured in crimson with wooden floors, two large four-posters, a fireplace, and a connected bathroom. Without missing a beat, he closed the portrait and started upstairs again only to be stopped by Hermione, who cocked an eyebrow at the strange look on his face. “I heard Draco was throwing up this morning...Is he all right?” she asked quietly.

“I took him to Pomfrey and she gave him a Pepper-Up potion,” he giggled, and he used his hands to mimic the steam from Draco’s ears.

Hermione giggled and looked around a bit before she reached out and took Harry’s hand. “I thought about what I said yesterday, Harry, and I’m sorry. Having Malfoy around has just been a little strange, and...and if you do decide, well...Harry, I’m not blind.” She was struggling for her words, but even so, Harry found himself blushing quite heavily. “When you’re around him, you’re always touching him, you act like you both have a secret that no one else knows, and when I saw you at the game yesterday, I was a little jealous. Ron doesn’t look at me like that, not ever, and–”

“What, how was he looking at me?” Harry asked, feeling his heart beating hard in his chest. Just because he and Draco had kissed in the middle of the night did not mean they were at all together, and he though he had thought about it, he was not so sure he could be Draco Malfoy’s boyfriend, and vice versa. “He wasn’t looking at me any way!”

“Oh, Harry, don’t be so thick!” she snorted, and she mimicking puppy eyes at him. “He looks at you like you’ve hung the moon to give the sun shining out of your arse a chance to rest. I’m not the only one who’s noticed, either, and Ron is positively freaked out by it. He won’t be angry, though, unless you hide things from him...So don’t. From either of us.” She smiled at the gentle blush on Harry’s cheeks and found herself blushing as Harry quietly told her what happened in the middle of the previous night. “You kissed him, Harry? Well...er, was it good?” She was not sure what exactly she could have asked besides that, and she grinned as Harry’s cheeks threatened to burn right off his face. “I’ll take that as a yes, and I won’t tell Ron about it until you’re ready to tell him, but just don’t hide it, okay?”

Harry nodded shyly and watched Hermione as she left the room before he hurried upstairs to check on his charge, who was already awake and sitting up in bed, his Transfiguration text open on his lap. “Hey,” Harry whispered, sitting on the bedside and peering at the contents of the pages Draco was reading before he touched his forehead. “You seem to be feeling a little better.”

“A little,” Draco admitted, and he looked up to Harry, his eyes focused on him, and Harry saw for the first time what Hermione was talking about. His hand crept over to find one of Draco’s, his stomach giving little flops as he leaned in to kiss Draco’s forehead, and he felt Draco melt against him. “Harry, can we go flying tonight?” he asked very softly, fingers slowly lacing with Harry’s, and he wanted to kiss him, but he was much too shy.

“If you bundle up and come to Quidditch practise with me, when practise is over you and I can fly until curfew. Before that, though, we have to move. We’ve got a few rooms to ourselves, apparently, to stop everyone else from complaining about you being here,” he claimed, smiling as Draco grinned up at him, and he reached up to cup Draco’s cheek, just leaning in to kiss him again when the dormitory door opened and Ron came bounding in.

“Harry, are you ready for Quidditch tonight?” Ron asked, not noticing Harry jerk away from Draco and shift, unsettled, for a moment. Harry sighed and smiled lightly at Draco, who got out of bed and began packing his things.

That evening, after they were moved into their new rooms, Harry found that he could not concentrate on Quidditch at all. Draco was sitting in the stands wearing his winter cloak and scarf, watching them play, and Harry kept catching himself watching Draco watching. Ron caught him at it several times as well, and was getting so worked up over the fact that practise was already terrible that he threw the Quaffle at Harry and caused him to spin wildly in midair for a moment before stopping with Harry upside-down. “Pay attention!” Ron snapped, though he was pleased to hear Draco’s raucous laughter from the stands.

“Sorry!” Harry exclaimed, and he got back into practise. He was careful not to look at Draco again, despite Draco taunting him, saying that it was a wonder Gryffindor ever won at anything when practise was like this. Ron was listening to this as well, and slowly his frustration built until he ended practise twenty minutes early, yelling that he needed a break from the “bumbling idiots” that made up the rest of the team. Harry hid a smile with his hand and flew over to the stands, landing on them and gesturing to the back of his broom. “Get on, you prat. You pissed Ron off...”

“I didn’t!” Draco exclaimed in protest as he climbed on behind Harry, his arms slipping around his waist. He took a moment to run his palms over Harry’s flat stomach before grabbing his own wrists, and he tucked his head between the other’s shoulders. “You were the one not paying attention. Like I said, I can’t believe you ever beat me, because–” Harry cut him off by kicking off the stands and flying at breakneck speed across the pitch. Draco screamed and held on tightly, having never ridden a Firebolt before, and he knew that any other broom was permanently ruined for him as Harry steered them effortlessly through the skies. “You could have warned me!”

Harry threw the broom into a sharp dive towards the grass, his hair flying back with the wind, and just as they neared the ground, he evened out the broom and slowed down enough that when he flipped around and wrapped his arms around Draco to pull him off the broom and roll onto the pitch, neither was hurt. The broom stopped immediately and hovered a few inches over the ground beside them as they rolled to a stop in the high grass and both burst out laughing, arms around one another and legs moving to tangle together. “F-fuck you!” Draco managed through his guffawing, and he took a deep, calming breath before bursting into giggles again.

Harry realised just how closely pressed together they were as they made eye contact, and he did not hesitate this time, hand sliding up into Draco’s hair to pull him into a long, heart-stopping kiss that made his breath hitch in his throat. When his heart restarted again, it was as though it could not beat fast enough, and he felt Draco’s pounding out a similar rhythm against his chest as their mouths opened together and tongues met shyly, caressing and twisting around one another. Draco’s legs squeezed his thigh, and when the kiss broke, both took a deep breath and stared at one another. “What’re we gonna do?” Harry whispered, his breath visible between them.

“That,” Draco replied, his chilly hand moving to run fingertips over Harry’s jawline. This was enough to convince Harry, for he leaned in again, and the chill of the wind was ignored as they wrapped up in one another.

Ron was staring at the both of them from outside the pitch, watching as Harry rolled on top of Draco and moaned into his mouth, and his heart hurt. He did not want to lose his best friend, not like this, and though he knew that Harry would tell him that he wasn’t that everything was going to be fine, he knew it was a lie, and he wanted nothing more than to run out there and tug them apart, slap Draco, and take him best friend away forever. Instead, he heaved a heavy sigh and turned his back on them, shoving his hands in his pockets and wanting nothing more than to be holding Hermione.

Draco finally shivered and buried his face against Harry’s neck. “It’s cold...Can we go inside?” he whispered, smiling as he felt Harry lift him to his feet, and he slipped his hand into Harry’s as they headed towards the castle. Once up in Gryffindor Tower, they went into their private rooms, and Draco regarded the two beds with a bit of a snort. “Shall we push them together?” he asked quietly, and when Harry nodded and drew his wand, he blushed as the two beds pushed together in the centre of the far wall. “Better.”


Need to catch up?
Prologue, Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine
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