Sakai Michiba (sakaim) wrote in yaoi_collection,
Sakai Michiba
sakaim
yaoi_collection

Title: Ambivalent Lucidity
Rating: Currently R
Pairings: Harry/Draco
Summary: When Draco Malfoy's mental health mysteriously declines, he is placed under the care of the only person he responds to: Harry Potter.
Warnings: (Future) Violence, rape, character death, mental illnesses (Dissociative Identity Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress, Paranoid Schizophrenia), slash, Pre-HBP


Draco was very quiet over the next few days, and Harry found that he was not hurt by it at all. He understood that Draco was trying to figure something out that he, Harry, could not possibly help with. Therefore, Harry gave him the space he needed. Ron and Hermione were glad to have Harry hanging out with them, and the fact that Harry wanted to go to Quidditch practise on Thursday evening seemed to make Ron’s whole week. Together, they dressed in their Quidditch robes and slung their brooms over their shoulders before heading down to the pitch.

The team had been in the air for around ten minutes, passing the Quaffle back and forth for warm-up, when Ginny arched an eyebrow then smiled at Harry. “Harry, Draco’s here,” she said just loudly enough for him to hear, and she watched as Harry’s head turned so quickly that the Quaffle smacked him in the cheek. His glasses knocked askew, he ignored the hysterical laughter from the rest of the team, which was generally in good spirits about he upcoming match, and retrieved the fallen Quaffle before he cleared his throat. “I’ll be back,” he claimed as he threw the ball to Dean Thomas, who easily caught it and nodded.

The air whistled in his ears as he dove to the stretch of ground between two goalposts where Draco was sitting in silence, his arms resting on his knees and his chin indenting the skin just below his elbow. Harry landed easily and set the broom aside, frowning at the stricken look on Draco’s face, and he knelt down beside him. “Hi, Draco,” he whispered. The sound was nearly lost in the wind, which was picking up in the early evening sun, but he knew that Draco had heard him when the blond boy met his gaze and drew in a deep, shuddering breath before reaching into his robes. “What’s wrong?” Harry asked very quietly, and he took the small piece of parchment that Draco procured from some pocket in his robes. Harry’s fingers unrolled it, and he frowned as he read the words scrawled messily on the parchment:

You’re coming home for Christmas.


“What?” Harry asked incredulously, and he rolled the parchment again before arching an eyebrow at Draco. “But he’s escaped from prison He’s...The Ministry’s looking for him How on earth can he expect–”

“The Ministry wants me to go home,” Draco rasped, and he crumpled the parchment in his hands before chucking it across the pitch. “They’re using me to get to him Goddamnit, Harry, they’re going to get me killed ” His fists connected hard with the goal post he had previously been leaning on, and Harry saw a trickle of blood dripping from his hand afterward. He paused for a moment before he reached out and took a bleeding hand and kissed Draco’s palm.

Ginny giggled at the disgusted expression Ron pulled when Harry’s arms slid around Draco and eased him closer, and she threw the Quaffle at him. “Hey, you caught it ” she exclaimed, impressed since he had not even been looking at her. “Oh, Ron, get over it. It looks like something’s happened...Harry looks angry.” The whole team was watching now as Draco started to yell, though the wind obscured most of his words so they only caught a few stray ones, such as “USED,” and “TOY,” and “FUCK THAT.” “Er, so does Draco,” Ginny corrected, and she crossed her arms as she watched Harry hop on his broom and make some sort of motion to Draco, who climbed on. The pair flew up to the rest of the team, and it was obvious now that Draco was crying and enraged. Harry was not crying, but he looked equally infuriated, and when he spoke to the team, it was clear that it took a lot of effort to keep his voice calm.

“Sorry, everyone. We have to go talk to Dumbledore right this second,” Harry said apologetically, and the team seemed to nod as one before he flew away with Draco clinging to his waist. The pair did not speak as Harry flew them right up to the castle doors, and they dismounted with all the ease of two boys who had been flying for years. They did not even join hands as they strode into the castle and immediately to the seventh floor corridor containing the lone gargoyle. “Fizzing Whizbee ” Harry barked at the gargoyle, which sprang to life and revealed the spiralling staircase behind it. Together, the pair started up the stairs, and Harry did not even knock before opening Dumbledore’s door furiously.

Severus Snape was sitting before Dumbledore’s desk, arms crossed and a pensive look on his face, when the door banged open and the two boys stormed inside. “Haven’t you learned to knock, Potter?” he asked coolly, leaning back in his chair and surveying the devastated look on Draco’s face. He knew what this was about, had been expecting it since Draco left that very office less than half an hour before, and looked to Dumbledore for a supportive look. The old man, however, was looking particularly absentminded, and Severus ‘s mouth hardened for a moment. “To what do we owe the great pleasure?”

“You know very well why we’re here ” Harry snapped, and he closed the door behind himself with a particularly loud bang. Draco gave a start and glared at him for a moment before he looked at Dumbledore. “How can you expect Draco to go home? Lucius is in prison, Draco’s sick...He’s supposed to come to the Burrow with me and Ron and–”

“I am?” Draco interjected, looking confused. Harry had, in the turmoil surrounding Draco’s depression, completely forgotten about Molly’s invitation. “I don’t want to go to some–” He cut himself off at the incredibly nasty look Harry shot him, and he fell quiet and looked to Severus, who was staring directly at him.

“I have already discussed this with Draco. Lucius will, in all likelihood, show up at the Platform in London when you step off the train, at which point Aurors will apprehend Lucius and Draco will be completely safe. You will not return to Malfoy Manor at all, and so I certainly don’t understand why, exactly, you are making such a big fuss,” Snape sighed heavily, quite tired of having this discussion. “The Ministry says that you are to hold up pretenses. Write your father and inform him that you will meet him on the platform, then prepare to go to the Weasleys for the holiday.”

Dumbledore was being oddly silent through this entire conversation, and Harry frowned at him. “Well?” Harry pressed, looking at the Headmaster with mild annoyance. “What do you think?” He wanted Dumbledore to say that the Ministry was forcing him to go along with this plan, that he had no choice, but Albus merely disentangled his fingers from his beard and met Harry’s gaze.

“I think that, until we learn why it is that Draco is so violently opposed to seeing his father, we have no choice.” The statement was spoken softly and clearly, but these quiet words had a great impact on Draco, who took a harsh step backward as though he had been slapped. “As I have expressed in the past, I thought you would have been thrilled to have a living father, but as it is causing you so much distress, it is obvious that you would much rather spend the holiday stuck in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom stall than at the Malfoy estate. Why, Draco?”His impossibly blue eyes were now focused on the blond, who shook his head and mumbled something incomprehensible. “Well,” Dumbledore sighed, and he gave a resolute nod. “Would you rather tell Harry tonight while you’re alone, and Harry can relate the gist of the story to us?”

Draco nodded and grabbed the doorknob, wanting to be out of that office as quickly as he had wanted to be in it. To his surprise, the door allowed him passage, and he fled, leaving Harry alone with the two older men. He did not run far, just to the bottom of the steps, and there he sat down heavily on the next-to-bottom step and buried his face in his hands. He could never tell the story to Dumbledore, to Snape...The thought was preposterous and embarrassing. He could tell Harry–would tell Harry–but this was hardly the way he had wanted to do it. He clenched his fists so his knuckles turned white and his nails dug into his palms before taking a deep breath to calm himself. It would not do to let one of the others take over, not now.

Snape watched his godson run away, and he frowned before glaring at Harry. “You will get him to tell you what’s happened. It’s been long enough, I think. Afterward, you will find the Headmaster or myself and we will have a discussion.” He left Harry no time for argument and waved him away as though it were his own office. “Now go and talk to him.”

Harry and Draco strode back to Gryffindor Tower in near-complete silence. Draco was almost afraid to take Harry’s hand, and so when the other boy reached out and threaded their fingers, he was immensely relieved, and he leaned gently against his arm as they walked. “Can we take a shower?” Draco whispered, wanting to get comfortable before Harry asked him the one question that would answer everything–why Draco was sick, why Draco never wanted to see Lucius again. He was slightly surprised when Harry nodded, not expecting the Gryffindor to accept the invitation to a shower together, since they had not yet been in the nude together. They stepped through the portrait of the Fat Lady then through the portrait of Petronius to their quarters, and Draco felt himself blushing as Harry went to the bathroom and turned on the shower.

His heart was pounding in his throat–why had he ever made this suggestion? –when Harry came back out of the bathroom and walked over to him. There was a moment when they did not touch at all, the Harry’s hands, shaking very slightly, reached out to release the clasp on Draco’s robes then began to unbutton all the troublesome buttons. He was biting his bottom lip in concentration, and when the last button popped open, his cheeks caught on fire as the robes fell loose enough to slide right off of Draco’s lithe form if he would just move. “Come here,” he breathed, and for the first time in days, he enfolded Draco in a proper romantic embrace

Draco’s breath hitched in his throat as he found himself pressed against Harry’s form, and he buried his face in the other’s neck as he felt hands slide into his robes, drawing them away from his body, and he realised quite suddenly that Harry had teased the robes until they fell at into a warm pool at his feet. He stepped out of them, feeling slightly ridiculous standing there in boxer shorts and shoes pressed against Harry’s Quidditch-robed body. He moved his hands to the clasps on Harry’s robes, and it was as though, abruptly, he had acquired a fever. His skin warmed, his blood pumping, as he bared inch after inch of Harry’s skin, and he looked up into green eyes as his heart pounded wildly. Then they were kissing as though they had been doing it all along, bare chest pressed to bare chest, and Draco stood on one foot and then the other, taking each one in turn in his hands and pulling it and its corresponding sock off while never drawing his tongue from Harry’s mouth. He was dimly aware of Harry doing the same thing, but he did not care, did not dwell on it, and he flicked his wand at the portrait, sealing it and placing a Silencing Charm nonverbally on it. His wand got thrown aside then, and he felt Harry’s fingers catch his boxers just as his caught Harry’s, and they opened their eyes to look, wanting, into one another’s eyes. There was silent agreement, and then they were both completely bared.

Harry took Draco’s hands and pulled him backward towards the bathroom. The tile was freezing beneath their feet, and the stark contrast to the warm carpet outside the room made Draco yelp. He dared not look down out of shyness, but he did not have time before Harry was pulling him into the hot shower. The water hit his skin like fire, and he moaned before closing his eyes again. Harry’s tongue pushed back into his mouth, and he felt Harry’s cock twitch against his as he kissed back with all he had. The water plastered their hair to their foreheads, and he thought that soap might be a good idea before he grabbed the bar and soaped up his palms before traversing Harry’s back with them. Slick fingers dipped down to caress Harry’s arse, pulling his hips hard against Draco’s own, and he allowed himself to be pressed against the wall while kissing the horny Gryffindor in his arms.

Their mouths parted and Draco lifted his chin as Harry began to devour his neck. Draco’s fingers took a devilish notion to slip between Harry’s legs from behind, and the fingertips came into contact with the warm skin of Harry’s scrotum. He felt Harry pause, and he did it again, his other hand wrapped securely around one of Harry’s buttocks as he whispered, “It’s me...don’t stop...” Teeth scraped his collarbone, and he realised in that moment how very hard his erection was, and he wanted Harry to touch it. The other boy seemed to read his mind, and Draco’s eyes widened at the ceiling as a warm, soapy hand slipped between his legs and began toying with him, “cleaning” him meticulously as fingers slipped all around the hardened shaft and head. His foreskin was pulled back, and Harry washed beneath carefully to a moan of approval by the blond while Draco’s fingers pressed insistently against Harry’s perineum.

The pressure made Harry gasp against the hollow of Draco’s throat, and he reached back to grab one of those small, pale hands before bringing it around and latching it onto his arousal. Draco weighed it in his hand, loving how heavy it was in his palm, and he began to stroke it in a way he had only ever done to his own. Harry stopped kissing his neck and brought his left hand up to support himself against the wall as he pressed his forehead to Draco’s, staring into his eyes as he began to jerk Draco off in turn. His eyes darkened, lustful, and he moaned as his hips gave the slightest little jerk forward before he had a novel idea. He took his hand off of Draco and pushed Draco’s hand away from himself, and he stepped forward so their stomachs were pressed flush against one another, and he reached down to take both erections in his right hand, stroking them together.

“Nnngh, fuck, Harry,” Draco hissed, his knees feeling weak as pre-ejaculate dribbled from the end of his cock. He knew he would not take much longer, not with Harry doing this for him, and he leaned his head forward to rest against Harry’s shoulder. “God, you’re going to make me–”

When these words issued from Draco’s lips, Harry moaned loudly and shuddered as his balls tightened and he came hard all over Draco’s chest and stomach. This reaction to his words sent Draco immediately over the edge, and he gasped against Harry’s wet skin as throbbing ecstasy ran through him and he emptied himself into Harry’s hand. Had he not had the wall supporting his weight, he would have hit the floor hard, but instead he wrapped his arms around Harry and leaned heavily against him, gulping for air and shaking as they both crashed back down to earth. The water quickly washed their mess away, and he was mildly aware of Harry washing the rest of him while he stood boneless against him.

He could talk now...He knew Harry would not be angry, would respect him, and so he did not allow himself to fall asleep when Harry lay him down on the bed ten minutes later, clean and dry. They curled up together, basking in the warm afterglow of orgasm, and he buried his face in Harry’s chest. “I’m ready...”



Need to catch up?
Prologue, Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven, Chapter Twelve, Chapter Thirteen, Chapter Fourteen
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Comments allowed for members only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic
  • 1 comment